Wednesday, 17 April 2019


Dr. Mannan Bashir Wani: A journey from pen to gun
By Aadil Gulam Dar, M.A. Education, Aligarh Muslim University 
                         (A Poet, Writer, Debater & Blogger)
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A person of revolutionary ideology was having unique thinking and hold inclusive concepts. His social nature was an example of integration. He was known by his positive philosophy of life. Live and let live other’s was his only best motive. I still remember the cup which was laying on the foot path of library canteen, that is a usual process of students to lay down the cups at any place where they are sitting and standing to take the taste of tea. As usual with the charming face he came out from the library talking to a friend and I was behind him, obviously they were going to canteen for the tea. While walking towards the canteen the cup was laying there on the footpath, he took up it and placed it on the table in front of canteen. His ethical sense which I couldn’t found in anyone else without him and his friendly nature was his one of the amazing features. And the debate I remember too was in Kennedy Auditorium on ‘Sir Syed: Vision & Mission’, I was also taking participation in the competition. The words that he spoke out that time are still in my mind, the way of expression, the ideas, the concepts and the conclusion was really one of the dimensions of Sir Syed’s dream that the scholars like him to be in the Aligarh Muslim University and at the end of the debate I won second prize but without him there was no participant best suitable for first prize, and with the standing ovation of jury he was awarded with trophy of first prize. He was not only a student/scholar but a mind of rationale ideology, a one time friend, a philosopher and a guide that is why no one wanted to left his company whenever one was having an opportunity to be with him while walking or during the tea at DHABA.
Manan was born in Tikipora Sogam Lolab, an area of Kupwara district which is almost 128 kilometers from Srinagar, the summer capital of Jammu and Kashmir. He spent his first six years in a local school in his village. Manan asked his father Bashir Ahmad Wani a lecturer in profession, for joining the Jawahar Navodaya Vidyalaya (JNV) - a school chain run by the Government of India. His father relented with much reluctance to send Manan to a boarding school. Manan moved to JNV located at Podshahi village near a garrison, 17 km from his home. Bashir’s other son, Mubashir Wani, now 29, and his daughter Asimah, now 21, stayed at home. During his first year at JNV, Manan became a good orator and apart from excelling in academics, was a good sportsman.  Manan represented his school and won many national kabaddi tournaments. He was also good at football and volleyball. Manan proved to his father that his decision of joining JNV wasn’t wrong when he passed his 10th-grade exams with 82% marks. “His passion for education increased by the day, and with the grace of God he was able to achieve his targets,” says his friend. Like before, Manan decided on his own to take up science and mathematics in senior secondary, with medicine as a prospect. He moved to another branch of JNV at Ganderbal in central Kashmir where he appeared for 11th and 12th grades. “Again, he proved that he had made the right decision, because he passed his 12th grade with 86% marks,” recalls his friend. In 2008, Manan informed his father that he wasn’t interested in enrolling for MBBS and instead was going to take up humanities. He got admission in Amar Singh College in Srinagar for the bachelor’s course in geology. He maintained his track record and completed his bachelors without any break or backlog. For further studies in geology, Manan enrolled in Aligarh Muslim University (AMU) in 2011, for a master’s degree and went on to finished his M.Phil. In 2015, he secured his admission in PhD at AMU. “We were all happy with Manan’s success but his PhD was not the only reason. The topics he took for M.Phil was the watershed characterization of Lolab,” says his friend. “For his PhD, he was researching structural geology, as related to our homeland.”
When he got selected for PhD, he started his blog and posted regularly on it. His first article was an open letter to Mirwaiz Umar Farooq, a member of the Joint Resistance Leadership. He also wrote about Najeeb Ahmad who went missing from Jawaharlal Nehru University hostel. His last post was about the encounter in Bhopal.  “He kept discussing politics, social issues, and the ongoing conflict in Kashmir, “He was stubborn, and he always tried to prove his point and only listened to himself. On March 10, 2017, Manan participated and won in the panel discussion on “Role of Men in Feminism”. The points he highlighted in the discussion were “not just women in India but my thoughts were clear about the women across the globe. Governments don’t have any right to interfere in what a woman should wear”. Months passed and Manan kept tweeting about things which were against democracy and about human rights. In 2017, he thought about contesting the student elections at AMU. He gave up the idea but his father did not give his consent. But, being a good orator, he used to attract large crowds at AMU.
In October 2017, Manan was supposed to be at home to attend his brother’s marriage. On October 31, 2017, Manan entered his two-storeyed mud and brick house, but this time he was a changed man. Manan went to invite his relatives with the invitation card for brother’s marriage. He had not been in touch with his relatives but this time tried to spend time with them. His father was happy to see his son as a changed man. His brother, who had earlier been worried, felt relaxed to see Manan involved in the wedding preparations. His impish behavior was gone, he wouldn’t behave stubbornly. He would listen to everyone without saying a word. This change made Wani’s family worried. But no one was able to figure out the real reason for this change. On December 4, 2017, Manan rolled his stuff in a bag and was ready to leave for AMU. Like other days, he said goodbye to everyone, no one realized that they were seeing him for the last time. On January 4, 2018, Manan sent two pictures of the M.Phil Convocation to his friend “that was a little confused, wondering why he sent those pictures all of the sudden,” says his friend. His friend was trying to contact him but his (Mannan’s) phone was switched off. To check on Manan’s recent activity, his friend tried to see his Facebook profile but it was “deactivated”. This made him shudder. Bashir Ahmad, Manna’s father, kept enquiring about Manan’s whereabouts but their search yielded nothing.  Nobody was able to trace him. His brother called one of Manan’s friends and asked him to check if Manan was in his room. In an hour, the friend called back and told him, “Manan has gone to Delhi as his grandfather is admitted in a hospital there”. In Delhi, Manan had told his friends “my grandfather is admitted in Jammu.” Finally, Bashir Ahmad filed a missing person’s report on January 7. The police gave the last location of Manan’s phone at Bijbehara an area in south Kashmir’s Anantnag district, which is one of the hotbeds of militancy. The suspense of his whereabouts finally came to an end, when Manan’s picture wearing armour waist with AK 47 went viral on social media on the same day. Just a day after the picture went viral, Manan’s mother, Shameema, tried to plead to her son via many TV news channels to come back, but his decision remained unchanged. “It was clear why he had picked up the arms - he was a democracy lover, his right to freedom of speech was snatched and what he did next was the outcome,” said his friend.
The morning of October 11, 2018 started with the news of an encounter in Shatgund Salamabad, an area of Handwara in north Kashmir. From every corner of valley, rumours about Manan being trapped in Shatgund were abuzz on Facebook. The authorities ordered a shutdown of all the educational institutes in the valley. Soon courtyard of Mannan’s home was filled with people wanting to know about Manan. The only PhD scholar of the village was in a fight with the government forces in Shatgund. Internet services were banned in Kupwara Handwara, and in the rest of Kashmir high-speed internet was reduced too. The people rushed to the village Chandigam about 8 km from Tekipora where the dead body of Manan was handed over to them. Living the life of a militant for 10 months, Manan didn’t stop writing. During these months, he wrote two letters addressed to the Kashmir’s. In his first letter, which was published on July 17, 2018 by Current News Service, Manan wrote “we love peace but not at the cost of our freedom.” Another letter came on September 14, titled ‘Voice from Hills’ in which he wrote about his educational journey from Lolab to AMU. Just 24 days after this letter, Manan was killed by the forces, as thousands of people gathered for his last journey at Tekipora. With this we lost a legend of having optimistic, ideological, conceptual and scientific ideas who wanted to live and let live others in self determination.
The last opportunistic moment I had to meet him inside the bus. I was going to see off my friends there as they were leaving for Delhi. When I entered into the bus Mannan Bhai was sitting on the front seat, I saw him and said with respect “Asalamuallikum doc. Sahab, how are you and where are you going?” Mannan Bhai replied with his same sweet and attractive voice “Walaikumasalam, allhamhulillah I am fine, I am going to Delhi for some work” then suddenly he stood up and hugged me tight and whispered in my right ear that was audible for me “koi baat nhe aap ne election nhe jeeta, aap apne padhaie pe zyda diyaan do pehlay” (don’t worry dear for not winning the election (AMUSU 2018), important is to focus on your studies first). With a strong hand shake he patched my back and I came out of bus. This was the last time I saw him and his last moment too in Aligarh. I thank almighty for giving me such a fortunate time that I met him at his last moment in Aligarh. And whole heartedly I am thankful to Mannan Bhai for giving me courage and suggested me to write and speak for the social causes and crises and mainly for the self determination for the people of our land.    
“we are soldiers, we don’t fight to die but to win, we don’t feel dignity in death but do feel dignity in fighting (Indian) occupation, its military might, its collaborators, its tyranny and most of all its ego and if/when we die while fighting all this, we do feel dignity in that death”
                                                                           - Dr. Mannan Bashir Wani

                    Aadil Gulam Dar
         (Poet, Writer, Debater, Blogger)
        Completed Masters in Education,
             Aligarh Muslim Universityity

Saturday, 9 February 2019

The Kashmir Turmoil

Kashmir unrest: Education sector badly affected
By Aadil Gulam Dar, Master’s in Education, Aligarh Muslim University.
(poet, writer, debater, blogger)

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Main contributories to the lessening of attainment of quantity of education include destruction of infrastructure, fear of sending children to schools, incorporation of youth into armed groups, negative economic shocks to households and forced displacement.
 
The education sector has been badly hit in Kashmir Valley since from the inception of unrest in Kashmir mainly from the year 2106, causing “irreversible loss” to students, the Economic Survey Report has said. “Due to the closure of schools, the academic session got badly hit to the extent that it caused irreversible loss of study and tuitions to the students. The exams conducted by J&K Board of Secondary Education (JKBOSE) for 10th and 12th standard students covered only 50 per cent of the total syllabus.
“However, an option has been given to the students to appear in March (for 100 per cent syllabus coverage) also,” according to the Economic Survey Report, 2016, tabled in the Assembly today.
It said 31 school buildings were gutted — 17 fully and 14 partially — during the five-month-long unrest following the killing of Hizbul Mujahideen commander Burhan Wani in an encounter, whereas 15 school buildings were saved by employees of education department and local community from being burnt.
In 2016, schooling could be conducted only for a period of four months in Kashmir valley. The 10th class and 12th class exams held in November covered only 40 per cent to 50 per cent of the total curriculum, adding that students of classes 1st to 9th had to be given mass promotion.
The exposure to violence and armed conflict reduces the quantity of education attained by children of conflict areas. Main contributories to the lessening of attainment of quantity of education include destruction of infrastructure, fear of sending children to schools, incorporation of youth into armed groups, negative economic shocks to households and forced displacement.
The loss of 50 per cent content of the syllabus will surely have to be covered by the student community itself so that they are able to compete in ensuing entrance exams held at the national level.Around 95 per cent students have appeared in the 12th board exam and 99 per cent students have appeared in the 10th exam in the Valley and decision was taken by the government for relaxing Term-2 examination from classes 1st to 8th.The total strength of the enrolled students in 10th and 12th classes in the Valley schools is of the order of 56,277 and 31,964, respectively, during academic session 2016. In higher education institutes, where the session started in March, class work could be conducted up to July 8 only and from July 9, the colleges have also been closed, resulting in loss of study of 130 days and more.This has resulted in the delay in the coverage of 1st semester syllabus and also is resulting in the delayed conduct of 1st semester exams, adding that hartals have also badly affected coverage of other semester studies.Similarly, in the universities in the Valley, the class work at Master level remained badly affected. The class work in medical colleges and NIT was also affected badly, resulting in stress to students and their parents.
In the academic session 2016-17, 84,811 students are enrolled in all government degree colleges in Kashmir as against the strength of 72,000 in 2015-16. The loss of studies of 130 days and more is “irreparable” and will have to be compensated through conduct of evening classes and additional classes on holidays to make the students have the knowledge in order to enable them to compete with student community at the country level.The level of expenditure during the first two quarters of 2015-16 was of the order of Rs 26.79 crore, while expenditure during the first two quarters of financial year 2016-17 is of the order of Rs 48.43 crore.It further said that Rs 8.98 crore has been utilised on development of infrastructure of University of Jammu, University of Kashmir, Islamic University, Baba Ghulam Shah Badshah University and Shri Mata Vaishno Devi University.
The prevailing turmoil and strikes in Kashmir Valley have obvious implications on the implementation of technical education programmes. The impact of strikes has been deep and profound on the educational atmosphere in the Valley.Technical education institutions/students in the valley were not able to complete their academic/practical work fully within the prescribed period.Skill-based courses require no disruption in the process in order to guarantee easy transmission of skills. The normal skill imparting process as well as new skill development initiatives got hampered due to strikes, resulting in truncation of initiatives.This may consequently affect the formation of generation’s next workforce. The infrastructure development is a key to progress and economic development of every sector.A good number of working days have been lost due to the prevailing strike resulting in non-creation of adequate infrastructural facilities in various institutions and slow execution of new projects/works in the valley.
For proficiency and efficiency, the up-gradation of available facilities and equipment used in the teaching and learning in the technical/craft institutes, is a must.But, due to incessant strike, action in this regard got hindered. Closure of financial institutions also led to recording of low financial progress under various programmes during the period.
 
            Education is that weapon which challenges and defeats each and every war  
                                                                                                          – A G DAR
 
 
 
 
 
                   Aadil Gulam Dar
     Master’s in Education (Completed)
             Aligarh Muslim University.

Friday, 7 December 2018


       THE PHOBIA OF BEING PHOTOGRAPHED

 By Aadil Gulam Dar, Master’s in Education, Aligarh Muslim University.

We live in an age dominated by pictures. Photo sharing apps like Snapchat and Instagram now compete with emails and phone calls as a primary means of staying in touch with friends. For many, these advancements in technology are fun and fulfilling. But for others, they can bring severe stress and a crippling sense of anxiety. I’m talking about people with a phobia of being photographed. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill ‘I look hideous today’ type scenario. These are people who experience panic attacks, nausea and even vomiting as a result of having their picture taken. Sounds extreme? Well if it didn’t then it wouldn’t be a phobia, right!?
I’ve spent hours trawling through forums written by people who share this phobia. One woman in Canada wrote “I have the most intense crippling fear of being photographed… I didn’t join the library until they had an online membership. I can’t renew my passport… Or my drivers license. It seems like you need photo membership cards for everything now…” A lady in the UK responded with a comment “I cut myself out of every photo and threw my wedding album on the fire”. Others discussed how they avoid social occasions altogether when they know that they’ll be expected to pose for photos. While cameras are a relatively new invention and a definition for the phobia of being photographed has not yet been established, there are similar phobias dating back thousands of years. Scopophobia refers to the fear of being looked at and Eisoptrophobia is the fear of seeing one’s own reflection. As many fellow Australians will know, some cultures fear cameras for religious or spiritual reasons, believing that photos can steal one’s soul or prevent it from passing on to the afterlife. This is the case with many Australian Aborigine cultures. However this modern day phobia does not seem to be about that. It seems much more rooted in issues of self-esteem, body image and self-identity.
My research showed me that one reason this phobia affects people so deeply is that on top of the anxiety it causes can often come a sense of guilt. A feeling that one is hurting family or friends by not participating in their ‘happy memories’. It’s easy to dismiss the phobia as silly, with comments like “Just get in the photo – you’re only making it worse.” But the first thing to know about phobias is that they are deeply-rooted and forcing someone to face theirs unwillingly can make it far worse. Would throwing a tarantula onto an arachnophobe cure their fear of spiders? I doubt it. So why would shoving a camera into someone’s face cure their phobia of being photographed? The specific reasons that people give for their phobia are varied. Many commented that it’s because they feel ashamed or embarrassed at the way they look in photos. That they think they have a fake smile and look miserable, or that they look ugly and will be judged because of it. Other people said that the fear is more about the sense of permanence; in the not knowing where the photo will end up and who will look at it. Social anxieties, body image disorders and self-esteem issues are deep, complex issues and I am by no means qualified to discuss them. I guess if anything I wrote this article with the simple intention of spreading awareness. Firstly, so that people who have a phobia of being photographed know that they are not alone. It is a common experience for men and women across the globe. Heck, even world-famous singer Adelle has this phobia and is reported to have undergone ‘photo-healing therapy’ with a Californian hypnotherapist! And secondly, I hope that this story reaches someone who has a friend or family member with this phobia, so that they will no longer dismiss it so flippantly. Recognize that this fear is connected with people’s sense of identity. And that is not a ‘silly’ thing. Making it a habit of being photographed would much interfere in managing the time and self stability at all. Doing such actions to take selifies and photos sometimes became great reasons of accidents and even death. 
Lastly I would like to say that in my research I discovered many people who overcame their phobia of being photographed, proving that it doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. While you may not wish to take new photos, try to resist destroying the ones that you already have… Maybe one day you will look back on them and smile.
By clicking photos will not change your identity. Don’t make it a habit either you will be the victim of its phobia.



      Aadil Gulam Dar
   Master’s in Education
Aligarh Muslim University.

Sunday, 28 January 2018

The beauty of ignorance
(Based on a true event)
By Aadil Gulam Dar, M.A EDUCATION, Aligarh Muslim University.

She knew her name and she believed that was all her identity. Growing up must’ve taken care of that.
It was a slightly sunny Sunday. The sun almost fought with the clouds for the little space that it managed to look down upon us from. Sitting on the porch, dressed in a flowered yellow frock, I looked up at the sky and almost immediately brought up my hand in defense against the glitters that the rays threw at me. It must have been around the middle of some month for the landlord had already dropped by our house once. He had had his usual cup of tea followed by his routine of an unwanted, dragging conversation. The tea was not the point, nor was the conversation, the point was that he was still the owner of the house and he’d reiterate this point twice every month; in the middle of it to remind us and at the end of it to establish it. There was a hubbub of noise and activity in the neighborhood that day. A huge truck was lying outside our gate and I could hear people from the next door going in and out, shouting at each other and carrying and dropping stuff. My brother having fought with me was standing on a pile of bricks, gazing eagerly through the half broken brick wall, barely balancing himself. Mother had asked us not to step out of the gate until the truck was gone and our new neighbors had settled. The house next door was being rented as well.
Hours after the noise subdued, my brother was now bored for he couldn’t see much happening in the lawns that he had access to through the broken wall. The luggage had been taken in and our new neighbors were probably settling their stuff now. After returning the pile of bricks he had collected from the backyard, he stopped by and looked at me for a second, probably considering playing khaanan with me but decided it was too soon to be in talking terms and turned away. In the afternoon, there was a knock at the gate. The doorbell didn’t work anymore and nobody bothered to fix it. The school kids on their way back home would stop by to ring it, and run away- all that one could hear while hurrying towards the gate was their resonating laughter. My brother and I raced to open it. He reached first. He was three years older and a foot taller. A small girl at the other end, thin and rather timid, offered us a bowl of halwa, pointing towards the house to suggest where it came from. “These must be our new neighbors” suggested my brother while I dipped my spoon in the bowl. The halwa tasted different, not bad, not better; just different. “They are from another state” he later told me, trying to make the missing connections. In the evening, he went up to the hall to overlook the proceedings in their house. They were moving in big boxes and throwing the empty cardboard ones out. He seated himself on a stool near the window and cleaned the glass to have a clearer view.
On our way back from school, my brother would hold my hand while crossing the busy road to the residential area. At times, when we had fought over imli the other day, he would take a second longer before holding my hand and give me a look to convey how important he was to me and suggest that next time I should rather give him the bigger apple. While holding my hand that day, both of us dressed in our now-dirty uniforms, we noticed the little girl, our new neighbor. She was walking a few metres behind us, looking at us timidly from a distance. Seconds later, my brother was crossing the road as two little girls held onto each of his hands.
When back from school, we were always greeted by an empty house. My parents were both working and would return only after five. My brother would carry the keys to the big lock that our gate wore every morning. At times when he had forgotten to carry the keys in his school bag, we would both go and wait patiently at the bakery shop for our parents to come. And whenever the uncle there offered us a bun, my brother always said “Yes” though he had been taught otherwise. One day after coming back home, while my brother was in the process of unlocking the gate and I was licking my ice cream, the little girl from the next door came running out and got hit by a cycle in the street. She fell down and hurt her leg while tears rolled down her barely formed cheeks. Once inside, my brother washed her knee and applied ointment to the wound and while doing so he told us how important first aid was. He also said that if first aid was not given immediately, the doctor might need to take the whole leg off. With that, he established the significance of what he had done and how timely he had done it.
   In our rented house, the fridge was one of our biggest luxuries. It stored frozen chickens, vegetables- both raw and cooked, juice cans and biscuits. My mother would lock the fridge and place the keys right on top of it. This was to tell us that though accessible, the fridge was not easily or readily accessible. It was to be accessed, probably, if guests dropped by at our place in her absence. My brother walked himself to the fridge with an air of confidence, unlocked it and stole some biscuits. I ran behind him to keep a count of how many, so that I could later present the factual details of the theft to my mother. He placed the biscuits neatly on a plate and offered these to the little girl. She smiled and took the whole plate. My brother smiled back; amazed that we could have something in common with the neighbors from another land. Happy that probably we were now friends, he shot another question at her to satisfy his curiosity, “Aap Musalman ho ya Hindu?” The girl looked up from the plate, confused, her eyes fixed at my brother’s face. Her left leg was still stretched as her right hand held the plate. She distanced the half biscuit from her mouth. Her eyes were still watery and her lips parted, exposing a missing tooth. Her eyes were a sea of innocence that rested at my brother and then at me and then at the plate as if the question had to be correctly answered for the biscuits, and said almost in a mumble, “Mai Saima hoon”.





Aadil Gulam Dar
M.A Education
Aligarh Muslim University

Friday, 12 January 2018

AADIL GULAM DAR: life under barriers

AADIL GULAM DAR: life under barriers:                                                                                 LIFE UNDER BARRIERS                               ...
  Life without internet
             By Aadil Gulam Dar, M.A EDUCATION, ALIGARH MUSLIM UNIVERSITY.
                                                      
                       
After a long period of time when I came to my home from university (AMU) and it was my 2nd day after arrival that internet was banned due to an encounter. On my first day here I had received a number of messages on watsaap, instagram, imo etc from my friends about my journey and arrival to home. Due to some busy schedule I couldn’t reply and left all the massages till next day for replying but I forget that I am here in Kashmir where will and wish of the people does not work , it is decided by the government and security forces here that what to do and how to do. A common man is not eligible to make decisions on his will and is not able to live a life of comfort. When I thought that I will answer all massages tomorrow and next day I saw my phone is totally dead on internet basis then I speak to my cousin what is the problem, why internet is not working? He answered quickly, you are not in AMU you are in Kashmir, and then he extended his talk which I thought was an abuse to the PM’S digital india slogan and smart india, he said from last one year we were not able to download a 10 mb video properly, how rude yaar, I got surprised. Being a student and a part of 21 century I can understand the importance of internet but how unfortunate that when I know to be a Kashmiri means a life without internet, communication and more than that is life without our will and wish. And when in anyhow internet is unblocked the only work that I promote first is to check my important mail and massages and to reply them. I used to go upstairs on 2nd floor of my home where a little bit of network is working. I can’t imagine that is really I am living in 21 century and moreover in PM’S so called digital india. I thank god that I have my return ticket which I made at university, if  I left that for here, it is not possible to check fare then how ticket? Soo irritating. Truly speaking from last 2 months it is 13th time that internet has blocked and then after 2 or 3 days it will be recovered. Even I couldn’t check the status of ticket. Now the government is using a new trend that to block internet on area basis. We are totally handicapped. Nothing is in our hands but to accept the cruelty and illegal occupation of india its government and forces.

           AADIL GULAM DAR
              MA EDUCATION

         AMU,ALIGARH

life under barriers

                                
                                              LIFE UNDER BARRIERS

                             
  BY AADIL GULAM DAR,M.A EDUCATION, ALIGARH MUSLIM UNIVERSITY . 
  it was 9 o’clock usually the school timing and my Aaga-g asked me that, Are not you going school today?. I replied , today is again a strike means “hartal”. I think none other than a Kashmiri as a child , adult and old age is familiar clearly with this term (Hartal). Well it is a complete shutdown like no transport, closed markets, schools & colleges were off but if there is anything observable that is Army and Police everywhere.
Then he (Aaga-g) told me that not to go out of home and if there is any emergency so keep your i.card with you. I was amazed but angered that why it happens? . Why these hartal’s took place?. Why I cannot go out of my home?. Why my I.d is compulsory if it is my home, my land?. Why my school if off?. Why I cannot go out freely to play with my friends?. Why our markets are closed?. And more painful was this ,why our sisters are soo afraid even they were in their own homes?.  Why they were not going to their own fields and apple gardens alone?. Why our mothers are not living a life of joy and happiness?. Why she is always afraid of her children?. Why these tall black uniformed men are always patrolling near my home?. Why they are always heavy  loaded with different weapons and looking towards us with a thought of killing?. Why they always checked us and even beat us?. The continuous tides of why and why in my mind created a ‘why cyclone’. I got frustrated for a while and pain started  in my heart. Then I fastly  came out of room and went to my Aaga-g . I told him all the above  and lastly ended with again a why?. His answer does not satisfy me but stops my why thought and created a barrier  which does not allow me to think more about  ‘why’. The simple but very painful answer was this ,
“ GOBERA YE CHA KASHEER , YETH  DUNIYAH  JANNATH  VANNAN  MAGAR  SANI  KHATERI  JAHANUM
(My son, this is Kashmir world calls it a heaven but for us it is a hell). Then he coated the history form 1980 to 90 when Kashmir was much under boil. I will present that in the next write up ,inshallah.

IT HAS ALWAYS BECOME A BARRIER FOR NEXT THOUGHT WHEN A WHY COMES IN THE MIND BUT BEING A KASHMIRI IT IS A USUAL TERM RIGHT FROM THE CHILDHOOD. BUT AGAIN ‘WHY’.aadilgulamdar99@gmail.com